what happens now?
you roll with it. // you hold on like it’s a roller coaster — you know it will end and you’ll find yourself safely on solid ground again. // assume the crash position, protect your head, protect your head. rock back & forth, the way that calms you. deep breaths. i promise it will end. // remember that you’ve been through this before. worse, even. you survived worse and you’ll survive this. you’ll survive this.
eventually you’ll do more than survive; you’ll thrive. think about where you were compared to where you are. trust that you can keep going. take advantage of your current momentum and follow through. make it so that following through is an inevitability. haven’t you already started doing just that? taking precautions with your energy so that you can give C a great night for his birthday? scheduling a friend to stay over so that you’ll have to organize the basement by a certain date? incentives.
and what about when you can’t shake the fear?
you’ll ensconce yourself in comforts, physical and emotional. put on your cozy movies, one after another. get lost in a happy place in your mind — look at studio apartments and imagine the life you want. imagine the work you want to do. imagine it in such detail you can watch it unfold like a movie montage.
